Karaoke, Yes, Karaoke
by Silverdust-Aestis
Summary: Guess. It's raining outside and everyone's stuck in a karaoke bar, when Gai decides to lighten things up by setting up karaoke! R
1. Naruto, Kiba, Sasuke: Yeah

Karaoke, Yes, Karaoke

If you want to read a good, quality story that follows the plot of the _Naruto_ manga and/or anime in which all the characters are in character and doing nothing outside of their ordinary behavior, and are offended by such things, hit the back button and continue browsing This story is not supposed to make any sense, many characters are OOC, and the only reference for time is some time during the chuunin exams just so everyone is alive and the Sand people are there  () Well, neways, if you're still here, please read on!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction, I would be airing them as episodes

            It was storming in Konoha.

            _Really_ storming.

            Like, _monsoon season _storming.

            Okay, yeah, you get the idea.

            That's why everyone happened to be gathered in a plot-convenient club/bar/ramen stand thing, patiently, er, not-so-patiently awaiting the end of the rain. By everyone, meaning Team 7, 8, 10, Neji's team (someone please tell me their number…), three sand siblings, the teachers, and some chuunin examiners, and so on and so forth. It is very improbable that they could all be stuck together in a moderately enclosed space without killing each other, but this isn't a probable story.

            And there's the setting for our story, sit back and enjoy.

            Maito Gai was not one to sit around, period. It made it more depressing to see all the youths here in this club, sitting gloomily around like old people. Now some old people are interesting, take Third Hokage for instance, but they were sitting around like boring old people. Even his prize pupil Rock Lee seemed to be wilting…

            He would not stand for this!!

            He stood up suddenly, fire burning in his eyes. The passionate flame of youth would not be wasted!! He would make sure this club would be a jumping hotbed of passion (o.o;;), mark his words!! If he succeeded, he would in some strange way outshine his supreme rival Kakashi, who was at the moment calmly reading the newest issue of Come Come Paradise, and make the score 52:49, him being 52, of course. If he failed, well he would run 100 laps around Konoha, in this weather!! _Yosh_!!

            Asuma, lighting another cig, nudged Kakashi. "He's going at it again…"

            "Hm?" Kakshi grunted, not really paying attention to anything but the hot and heavy pages of his novel.

            Asuma sighed and went back to smoking, and inside secretly relishing the picture of dripping wet Kurenai running in earlier that afternoon.

            Gai was unaware of all this and was eagerly scanning the bar for something that would light the flame of youth and passion. Drinks? Too young, but maybe if times got desperate. Ramen? Nah, maybe start the spiky-haired blond on Kakashi's team, but probably no one else. Yay, DDR machine in the corner!! No, it was broken…

            Then came divine intervention.

            It seemed a ray of light pierced through the ceiling and alighted on the stage, upon which sat…could it be true?! A KARAOKE MACHINE!!!

            Of course! Nothing got the party started like Karaoke, because fun always followed karaoke, especially drunk karaoke, but he'd just have to settle for the normal kind. Kakashi my rival, I have outsmarted you again!

            Nevermind the fact Kakashi was never involved in this in the first place.

            Sakura was bored, as was half or more of the people in the room. You may ask, why start with Sakura? Well, because she's the easiest character to write in Team 7 which is the basic centerfold of the whole series.

            Back to the point, Sakura was bored.

            It wasn't very fun watching Naruto slurp down ramen with the etiquette of a rabid hippo, and even though she _adored _Sasuke and all, it wasn't much fun watching him brood in the same position for more than ten minutes either, because, believe it or not ladies and gentlemen, she does have depth!!!

            So an analytical mind like hers found itself bored out of its little analytical self when…

            "HELLO YOUTHS OF KONOHA AND ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

            Shocked, annoyed, all eyes shot to the stage where Gai was doing his classic nice guy pose and shouting into a microphone. More or less the thoughts of everyone in the club:

            Dear Lords, what _now_?!

            Gai took no notice of the stares and glares and continued with his pep talk. "I hate to see the flame of youth squandered!! It pains me to see all of you sit here in boredom!! IT'S AGONIZING!!"

            "FORGIVE US GAI SENSEI!!!!!!!!!"

            Another resonant yell from the crowd, coming from none other than Rock Lee, standing straight up, eyes tearing devotion and watering, pleading forgiveness. Behind him, Tenten was seen covering her face in her hands, and Neji quickly downing a pint of some unknown liquid…or liquor.

            Gai shot a thumbs-up at Lee and continued. "So I, the marvelous number one jounin in Konoha, have decided to help you rekindle your passion and regain your youthful vigor!! I have convinced the owner of this wonderful club to let us use his Karaoke machine as much as we desire to!! AND!!! We can clear all the center tables to form a dance floor!!! So children, adolescents, my fellow jounins!! PAR-TAY!!"

            Crickets chirped in the background as everyone looked on in stunned silence. Gai, feeling his work was done, pranced off the stage and shot an imperious look at Kakashi, who shrugged and went back to reading. Gai tripped. _Ahh, my rival, you out do me again!! You're just so cool…_

"Tch," Temari scoffed, even though inside she wanted to get on that stage with a burning passion. "Who would ever degrade themselves by going up there and singing to this crowd? They'd be laughed at the rest of the Chuunin Exam…"

            Gaara said nothing, as usual, and sat their brooding, not unlike Sasuke, though his pattern of thought was slightly more destructive and involved a lot more contemplative killing than angsting about his dark and traumatizing past. Kankuro was eyeing the machine testily, like someone might eye the last slice of pizza at 4 a.m. in the morning.

            Meeanwhile, Sakura was getting nervous because Naruto had that glint in his eye. He wasn't actually going to…

            Her suspicions were confirmed when he got up.

            "Naruto!" she hissed. "Don't go make a fool of yourself!! You'll make me and Sasuke look bad!!"

            "Don't worry Sakura-chan!!" he said, with his trademark foxy grin, before darting off. She groaned and tried to sink into her chair. Sasuke did nothing, but she could vaguely see a vein pop in his forehead.

            Naruto, meanwhile, made his way across the tables over to Team 8. Leaning down, he nudged Kiba and whispered something in his ear, while Hinata blushed that her crush was so close to her, and Shino…sat there like a log. Because that's what Shino does in these situations.

            After hearing the whispered message, Kiba's face broke out in a wicked smile and he nodded at the blonde, before getting up and following him behind the stage.

            A few moments later music began to pound through the club, along with familiar voices.

            "Peace up, A-Town down!"

            "/Yeah (yeahh!!) okay (okay!!)/"

            "Oh my God!!!" Sakura moaned, mortified. Naruto walked on stage, an oversized jersey over his orange suit and a bunch of fake chains around his neck. A backwards baseball cap was pulled over his hair, and he was smiling shamelessly. Then again, it was funny, because she had never seen Sasuke look so utterly stunned before.

            "Naruto (Naruto Naruto Naruto..)"

            "/Kiba!!/"

            "I-i-is that K-Kiba-kun?!" Hinata looked about ready to go into shock. Shino nodded, but other than that, gave no sign of what he was thinking. On a probable guess, it's something along the lines of 'what the hell does that idiot think he's doing?!'

            Kiba was dressed in costume as well, in his already oversized hoodie, tilted cap, fake 'bling-bling', and really baggy pants, though Akamaru kinda' ruined the effect by popping out of his hood. He even _winked_ at her!

            "Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah yeah(yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)  yeah!"

            _You complete dobe!!!_ Sasuke thought, his mouth slightly hanging open. _You are going to ruin our image!!…then again…that song is kinda catchy…_

Naruto smiled and started pulling off some killer dance moves, just like Usher in the video. Where he saw it, I don't know, how he copied it, I really don't know. Then he began singing the first verse, Kiba doing the background, jumping around like a monkey on crack.

            "Up in the club wit my homies, trying to get a lil V-I Keep it down on the low key"

            "/low key/"

            "You should know how it feels"

            "/hey!! hey!!/"

"I seen shorty she was checking up on me From the game she was spitting in my earYou would think that she knew me"

"/knew me/"

"These lyrics make no sense," Shikamaru grumbled. "If he was going to make a fool of himself he should've at least chosen a song that makes sense…"

"Yeah, of course," Ino agreed, desperately trying to stifle the urge to get on the improvised dance floor.

"I decided to cheat"

"/okay!!/"

"Conversation got heavy"

"/hey!!/"

"She had me feeling like she's ready to blow"

"/watch out!!/"

"Oh!"

"/watch out!!/"

"She's saying 'come get me'!"

"/come get me!/"

With these lines he crooked a finger over in Sakura's direction and winked, to which she replied with a blush and a glare, and to which Sasuke replied with an uncharacteristic jealous glower.

"So I got up and followed her to the floor She said baby 'let's go' When I told her"

"/let's go!!/"

"I said"

"/Yeah!/"

"Yeahyeah Shorty got down on me, said come and get me!"

"/yeah!/"

"Yeahyeah I got so caught up, I forgot she told me"

"/yeah!/"

"Yeahyeah Covering my girl, she be the best up on me"

"/yeah!!/"

"Yeahyeah Next thing I knew, she was all up on me screaming"

"(Yeah!!) yeah yeah (yeah!) yeah yeah yeah!(Yeah!!) yeah yeah (yeah!) yeah yeah - yeah!"

Though as dorky as it may have looked, it seemed Naruto's and Kiba's performance was starting to loosen things up a bit. Feet were tapping and some were mouthing the words. Then Sakura shot a glance at Ino, and the blonde met her gaze. They both knew what they wanted to do. All hell was going to break loose sooner or later, so why not. They both got up and walked over to the dance floor as Naruto started the second verse.

"She's all up in my head now Got me thinking that it might Be a good idea to take her with meCause she's ready to leave"

"/ready to leeeeaaavvee/ let's go!!/"

Most boys in the club gaped as Sakura and Ino 'broke it down' on the dance floor. Who knew they could be so…wild? Head tossing, butt-shaking, body twisting, hips gyrating, yep, hell had definitely broken loose…and it was very sexy.

"/And I got to keep it real now/ Cause on a 1 to 10, she's a certified 20/ But that's just ain't me/"

"/hey!!/"

"Cause I don't  know if I take that chance She swears he's gonna leave"

With that Naruto jumped off the stage and walked in between the two ladies and in front of them, Kiba still in the background. He was probably the luckiest guy in the whole club, but if he was elated out of his mind, he had amazing self-control at the moment.

"But what I do know, is the way she dance Make shorty alright wit me The way's she's Getting Low!! I'm like yeah, just work that out for me"

The girls were falling into a pattern behind him, like backup dancers. Sakura broke away and leaned her arm against his shoulder, winking at him. Naruto faced her as he sang the next words.

"She asks for one more dance, and I'm like yeah How the hell am I supposed to leave?"

"/let's go!!!/"

Sakura turned away with a play toss of her head and stalked back to Ino's side to continue dancing. Naruto's eyes followed her.

"And I say"

"/Yeah!/"

"Yeahyeah Shorty got down on me, said come and get me!"

"/yeah!/"

"Yeahyeah I got so caught up, I forgot she told me"

"/yeah!/"

"Yeahyeah Covering my girl, she be the best up on me"

"/yeah!!/"

"Yeahyeah Next thing I knew, she was all up on me screaming"

"(Yeah!!) yeah yeah (yeah!) yeah yeah - yeah! (Yeah!!) yeah yeah (yeah!) (Hey hey heyyyy!!!! Luda!!!) Yeah yeah - yeah!"

Who would sing the next part? Everyone looked around to see who was missing, then the lights dimmed and spotlights beamed on the stage and who was standing there…Sasuke!!

He hadn't bothered for a costume change but he still looked sexy (drool). Giving a smirk, he jumped off the stage mimicking Naruto, then walked up to him, giving him an imperious side-glance.

"Watch out, my outfit's re-di-culous In the club looking so conspicuous And RAWR!! These women all on the prowl If you hold the head steady, I'm a milk the cow"

"His lyrics make even less sense than Naruto's," Shikamaru complained. He was a bit jealous, but of course, lil' Shika would never admit it. Chouji looked at him sympathetically.

"And forget about game, I'm a spit the truth!"

With a head motion, both Ino and Sakura started dancing closer to him, rubbing their bodies against him and not minding in the least.

"I won't stop till I get em in their birthday suits!! So gimme the rhythm and it'll be off wit their clothes Then "bend over to the front! and touch your toes!"

"Look at them, they might as well just lie at hid feet and scream 'take me!'" Tenten said, denying the fact that she wanted to be in their position to save face.

"Hm?" Neji replied, eyes trained on the performance. "Yeah, shameful…"

"Perv," she muttered. "At least you're not using Byakugan."

"Hmm, didn't think of that."

"Neji!!"

"I - left the Jag I took the Rolls If they ain't cutting then I put em on foot patrollll (oww!!) How ya like me now? When my pinky's baguette over three hundred thou-sand! Let's drink, you the one to please Sasuke fill cups like double D's Me and Naru' once more, and we leaves em dead We want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed that say"

"/Yeah!/"

"Yeahyeah Shorty got down on me, said come and get me!"

"/yeah!/"

"Yeahyeah I got so caught up, I forgot she told me"

"/yeah!/"

"Yeahyeah Covering my girl, she be the best up on me"

"/yeah!!/"

"Yeahyeah Next thing I knew, she was all up on me screaming"

"(Yeah!!) yeah yeah (yeah!) yeah yeah - yeah! (Yeah!!) yeah yeah (yeah!) (Hey hey heyyyy!!!! Luda!!!) Yeah yeah - yeah!"

The all three boys moved to the front, Sasuke taking the head place with Ino and Sakura on either arm.

"Take that and rewind it back Kiba got the beat that make your booty go (smack)"

Kiba came to the front, did a little dancing, then moved back.

"Take that, rewind it back Naruto got the voice make your booty go (smack)"

Naruto came to the front and pulled another one of his dance moves, then grinned at the audience and tipped his hat.

" Take that, rewind it back Sasuke got the flow to make your booty go (smack)"

Sasuke winked at the audience and continued

"Take that, rewind it back Kiba got the beat that make your booty go (smack)"

The song ended. There was silence for while, then everyone erupted into applause. The performers bowed and returned to their seats.

"You have quite…dynamic students Kakashi," Kurenai said, a shocked look on her face.

"Kiba was up there too, Kurenai…" Asuma laughed. "And that boy cannot dance."

"Well, at least my student wasn't acting like a harem dancer."

"Now, now," Kakashi spoke, his eyes crinkling into a smile. "It was good, neh?"

"Yeah, I suppose…"

            Meanwhile, Gai was fuming. He had started the whole thing and it was Kakashi's students that stole the spotlight. He was just to good!

            He renewed the fire in his eyes. Next song would be his team, he was sure of it!! For it was still storming outside, and who knew how long it would last. But now, no one was bored.

Yay, it's finished. Like it, hate it? Please review! This is a new style for me and constructive criticism is appreciated Also, opinions on who should sing next or songs you would like to see Couples are pretty loose, lol, so don't get offended by the Naruto/Sakura/Sasuke earlier, it was show :P Sry if Gai is too out of character, or anyone else for that matter, but this fic isn't supposed to make sense, again…

Till next time, Ja Ne!


	2. Neji, Rock Lee: Ride With Me

> **Karaoke, Yes, Karaoke**
> 
> ****

Thank you for all the nice reviews people!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, there.

We shall once again open on Team 7, because they're fun.

"Eh, eh, Sasuke!! Why did you have to go and steal my show!!!"

"I didn't steal it, I improved it dobe!!!"

Sakura sighed, listening to the two argue. She had gotten to dance on Sasuke, so she wasn't complaining, but she was a bit surprised she had lowered herself enough to play flirt with _Naruto_…ugh…

She shivered and continued listening to the other two rant at each other.

"You were g-g-great K-Kiba-kun," Hinata congratulated softly. He was good with the background singing, but her poor little heart was too delicate and kind to tell him that his dancing looked like a monkey on crack going into a seizure.

Shino nodded, and said nothing. But he probably thought the same thing as Hinata.

"Yeah, well, you know," Kiba flopped down on his chair, fake bling-bling clattering. He hadn't bothered to take it off. "We Inuzuka's are little known 'party-animals'."

He snickered at his own joke, and Hinata tittered along nervously. Take a wild guess as to what Shino was doing.

Ino returned to the table, a bit sweaty and disheveled, but radiant at the fact that she had gotten to dance with Sasuke-kun and ignoring the fact that this was probably the only time he was ever going to permit her to.

"Ino, do you have any pride?" Shikamaru asked, trying to disguise the outrage in his voice with his bored monotone.

"Hm?" she answered dazedly, her mind cooking up a daydream of little blonde Sasuke's and mini black-haired copies of herself running around a flowering lawn. "What do you mean Shikamaru?"

"He means you were throwing yourself on Sasuke like a whore," Choji informed good-naturedly.

A vein popped in Ino's forehead. "Oh, so you think of me as a whore, Shikamaru, is that it?!"

The shadow-nin closed his eyes in exasperation. He was going to have to have a long talk with his best friend about tactfulness.

"So troublesome…"

"Gai sensei's plan worked, I'm so happy!!"

Rock Lee jumped happily around his team's table, elated that his beloved sensei had succeeded into bringing passion into the club. Tenten was sulking because it seemed Neji was as susceptible to sexy girls dancing like wild animals as most of the guys in the club. The only one seemingly unaffected by the outrageous display was Gaara, and probably the only way he would've been aroused was if they were naked and covered in blood. But that's Gaara. Anyways, she was sulking, and didn't seem to notice the four empty sake cups before her teammate, which was probably the reason for his extremely out of character behavior.

Neji was downing a fifth sake cup.

And now that we have ignored Lee for a good paragraph and sentence, let's go back to what he's saying.

The taijutsu master stopped suddenly and held up his fist, eyes burning a la Gai sensei style. "But we have to make Gai sensei proud!!! We have to show we have more passion than Kakashi's students. And though it pains me to bring Sakura-chan down-"

Here his mind was replaying her dancing with Sasuke, only Sasuke was booted out of the picture and he was blissfully drooling in his place.

"-we must out do them!!! What do you say, Neji?"

"I'm not quite that intoxicated yet," the other boy muttered.

With a sweatdrop, Rock Lee surveyed the alcohol intake before him. "Neji, you're under-aged. _Really _under-aged. Where are you getting those?"

Neji pointed in the direction of the bar, where Anko was grinning and mixing drinks with a crazed look in her eyes. Lee blinked, several times. Then he turned back to his teammate.

"Errr…"

Neji got up and walked over to the bar, said something to Anko, and was handed a strange looking substance that might've been sake, might've been gin, might've been vodka, or a hellish combo of all three. He then walked back, and proceeded to drink nearly the whole glass in one go.

"Okay, now I am. Let's go."

He started off toward the stage. Lee followed, slightly shocked, but nonetheless moderately glad that he would make Gai-sensei proud. Tenten looked after them both in mild shock, before secretly plotting sweet revenge against Neji, though he really hadn't done anything wrong…

…other than look at other girls, and Tenten, believe it or not, is very possessive.

"You're just jealous that I can sing better than you, dead last!!"

"Yeah right! Well, I can _dance _way better than you!"

"I can pull of those moves anytime!"

"Only because you were watching with Sharingan, I saw you!!"

"Guys please!" Sakura groaned. "You're giving me a headache…"

With their classic lightning-glare-thing they both sat down, fuming. Sakura sighed and put her head in her hands. Sometimes being with both of them was, forgive me Shikamaru, so damn troublesome.

"Ne, Sakura-chan, I didn't know you could dance like that!"

She opened her eyes to see Naruto's grinning face. "It was a one time thing for you Naruto…"

She turned to Sasuke. "But I'd do it anytime for you Sasuke-kun!!"

Naruto hung his head and Sasuke pretended to look nonchalant and cold, but there was a very faint blush over his cheeks. Because no boy can _ever _have a girl dance on him and walk away unscathed.

And, he might like Sakura a little more than he would admit.

Suddenly, the music started again, a slightly smoother beat than the other one. All eyes turned to the stage as Neji walked on, mic in hand. Then eyes started to pop, because, after all, this is _Neji _we're talking about. As in usually stoic, cold, obsessed-with-fate-and-destiny Neji.

But five cups of sake and a glass of unknown liquor tends to change that…

> "_Mmmmmmmmmmmm, whooo oo oo, Where they at (Where they at) Where they at (Where they at) Where they at (Where they at) Where they at (Where they at)_" 

> "THAT'S MY BOY, NEJI!!!!!!!!!!" 
> 
> Gai cheered. He knew that his students would outshine Kakashi's!! He whirled around and shot the grey-haired jounin his good guy pose. Kakashi merely blinked. Gai face-faulted. 
> 
> "Wow, didn't know he had it in him," Kakashi mused, before going back to his book. 
> 
> _"__If you wanna go and take a ride wit me - We three wheelin in the fo with the gold D's - Oh why do I live this way?"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Hey, it must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> Rock Lee pranced onto the stage, also carrying a microphone. He struck the classic good guy pose, and nearly cried in joy when he saw Gai-sensei across the room, shedding tears of joy at his students, who were in his eyes setting the most perfect example of youth and passion!! 
> 
> Neji was ignoring his sensei and just concentrated on getting the words right. Maybe if they weren't dancing across the screen it would be easier. 
> 
> _"If you wanna go and get high wit me - Smoke a 'L' in the back of tha ben-z - Oh why must I feel this way?"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Hey, must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> "N-N-Neji-nii-san…" 
> 
> Hinata was close to fainting from utter shock. It seemed her poor little world had been turned upside down. Her cousin was up on stage, singing Nelly!!!! He didn't even _like_ Nelly!!! Come to think of it, he didn't like much of anything…but still! What was the world coming to?! 
> 
> She was so glad her father wasn't here to see this… 
> 
> _"In the club on the late night, feelin right - Lookin, tryna spot sumthin real nice - Lookin for a little shorty I noticed so that I can take home,"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(I can take home)"_
> 
> __
> 
> "You _sure_ that's Neji?" 
> 
> "Well, it isn't a Bunshin, or a Kage Bunshin," Sasuke replied, scanning the stage with his Sharingan. "It's safe to assume that it really is him…" 
> 
> "Could it be Henge?" Sakura asked, rubbing her eyes for the fifth time to check that they weren't playing tricks on her. 
> 
> "Maybe, but I think it really is him." 
> 
> "Argh!" Naruto cried. "Who does he think he is, getting on and singing better than me?!!" 
> 
> _"She can be 18"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(18)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"wit a attitude or 19 kinda snotty actin real rude - Boo as long as you a thicky thicky thick girl you know that it's on"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(you know that it's on)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"I peep sumthin cummin towards me on the dance floor - Sexy and real slow"_
> 
> _"(hey)"_
> 
> __
> 
> Tenten was watching the stage in interest. Who knew Neji-san could sing so well? In fact, who knew he could sing at all? 
> 
> 'And_'_ she wondered, smirking and getting up. 'How did he know that 'Ride With Me' is one of my favorite songs?' 
> 
> _"__and sayin she was peepin and I dig the last video"_
> 
> __
> 
> Neji raised an eyebrow. Was Tenten coming towards the dance floor? 
> 
> _"So when Neji can we go - How could I tell her no? -_ _Her measurements were 36-25-34"_
> 
> __
> 
> Yes she was. He turned in her direction and looked her straight in the eye. She stopped and crossed her arms, looking at him inquisitively. 
> 
> _"I like the way you brush your hair - And I like those stylish clothes you wear _
> 
> _- I like the way the light hit the ice and glare - And I can see you boo from way over there"_
> 
> __
> 
> She felt herself grow hot as he smirked in her direction. 'He must be really, really stoned…but I could get used to it…' 
> 
> _"If you wanna go and take a ride wit me - We three wheelin in the fo with the gold D's - Oh why do I live this way?" _
> 
> _"(Hey, it must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"If you wanna go and get high wit me - Smoke a 'L' in the back of tha ben-z - Oh why must I feel this way?"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Hey, must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> Rock Lee grinned inwardly. Finally, they would get some back-up dancers! He saw Tenten talking to Sakura, who grinned and nodded, then move over to Ino, who, with a angry glare in Shikamaru's direction, agreed as well. She seemed to go over in Hinata's direction awhile, but decided otherwise, and the three girls made their way to the stage. 
> 
> _"Face a body front and back, don't know how to act - Without no vouchers on the boo she's bringing nothin back"_
> 
> __
> 
> Neji grinned as the girls once again tore up the dance floor, with the addition of Tenten. It was a much better view this time, and he was enjoying it while the small sane part of his mind yelled that he would really regret this once he sobered up. But sane little voices are there to be ignored :) 
> 
> _"You should feel the impact, shoppin with plastic when the skies the limit - And them haters can't get past that - Watch me as I gas that, fo dot six lanes - watch the candy paint change, every time I switch lanes"_
> 
> __
> 
> "Well, who would've thought," Choji murmured. "Neji, of all people…" 
> 
> "His lyrics make less sense than anyone's so far," said the grumpy Shikamaru, still disgusted that Ino was so content with throwing away her dignity. Of course, he shouldn't be worried about it, since it is so troublesome worrying about someone other than yourself. But _we_ all know why, don't we? 
> 
> "Shikamaru, maybe you should go up there and sing something…" 
> 
> "I'd have to be twice as stoned as Neji to even get on there, four times as much to sing." 
> 
> "Well, it's better than seeing you here brooding over Ino." 
> 
> "I'm not brooding over Ino!" 
> 
> "Yeah sure," Choji went back to watching the performance, knowing that if Shikamaru were in denial, he was _really_ in denial. 
> 
> _"It feels strange now - Makin a livin off my brain, instead of 'caine now - I got the title from my momma put the wip in my own name now - Damn shit to change now - Running credit checks with no shame now - I feel the fame now"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(come one)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"I can't complain"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(No more)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"Shit I'm the main man, now - In and out my own town"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(I'm getting)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"I'm gettin Pages out of New Jersey, from Courtney b Tellin me about a party up in NYC - And can I make it?"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Damn right)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"I'll be on the"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(next flight)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"__Payin cash"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(first class)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"Sittin next to Vanna White"_
> 
> __
> 
> With that he jumped off the stage and moved into the throng of dancers. 
> 
> "That's my move!" Naruto whined. 
> 
> 'That's _my _girl,' thought inner Sasuke as he saw Neji a bit to close to Sakura for his own comfort.
> 
> _"If you wanna go and take a ride wit me - We three wheelin in the fo with the gold D's - Oh why do I live this way?" _
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Hey, it must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"If you wanna go and get high wit me - Smoke a 'L' in the back of tha ben-z - Oh why must I feel this way?"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Hey, must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> Neji was also to close to Sakura for Tenten's comfort. She quickly broke from the other two dancers and tapped his shoulder. As he turned, she smiled at him, and the two immediately started their own little number. He was grinning as he sang the next part, and inner sane Neji was banging its head against his brain walls. 
> 
> _"If you wanna go and take a ride wit me - We three wheelin in the fo with the gold D's - Oh why do I live this way?" _
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Hey, it must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"If you wanna go and get high wit me - Smoke a 'L' in the back of tha ben-z - Oh why must I feel this way?"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Hey, must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> Then he broke off with Tenten, and faced the audience, singing the next part to them with a triumphant smirk on his face. 
> 
> _"(check, check)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"Yo, I know somethin you don't know - But I got somethin to tell ya - You won't believe how many people, straight doubted the flow - Most said that I was a failure - And now the same motherfkers askin me for dough - And I'm yellin I can't help ya - Yo Neji can we get tickets to the next show? - Hell no, (whatchu say?) you fo real?" _
> 
> __
> 
> Lee blinked. Did Neji just spit a vulgar curse without batting an eye? He quickly checked his next solo and found to his dismay that there were many of those same curses and not to mention tons of sexual innuendo in it. He mentally groaned. 'For you, Gai-sensei!!' 
> 
> Then he leaped off the stage and faced the audience. 
> 
> _"Hey yo, now that I'm a fly guy - And I fly high - Niggas wanna know why, why I fly by - Hey yo, its all good - Range Rover all wood - Do me like you should - Fk me good, suck me good"_
> 
> __
> 
> "Did Rock Lee say, what I think he said?" Kiba wondered aloud, aghast. 
> 
> Poor Hinata was still trying to get over the fact that her dearly beloved cousin was singing and had just said m-m-m-m-mother-f-f, well she couldn't even think it! 
> 
> _"We be them stud niggas - Wishin you was niggas - Poppin like we drug dealers - Simply cause she butt naked - Honey in the club, me in the benz - Icy grip tellin me to leave wit you and your friends" _
> 
> __
> 
> "Okay, it's official, Rock Lee and 'gangsta' don't belong together in the same sentence," Shikamaru muttered. 
> 
> "But it's great for show," Choji replied. "Hey, is he trying to make a pass at Ino?" 
> 
> "What?!" Shikmaru sat jolt upright and scanned the dance floor. 
> 
> "No, my mistake," Choji tried to hide a satisfied chortle. 'Damn, Shikamaru looks like that creepy Sand guy when he glares…' 
> 
> _"So if shorty wanna... knock, we knockin to this - And if shorty wanna... rock, we rockin to this - And if shorty wanna... pop, we poppin the cris - Shorty wanna see the ice, then I ice the wrist"_
> 
> __
> 
> Out of the corner of his eye, Lee watched Neji dancing in the swarm of girls. He wasn't bothered as much about his teammate's out of character behavior as he was with the fact that Neji was getting all the female attention. Especially that he was getting Sakura's attention…especially since…was Sakura grinding on him?!?! 
> 
> _"city talk, Neji listen - Neji talk, city listen - Wanna fk fly bitches - When I walk pay attention"_
> 
> __
> 
> "What language are you teaching your students, Gai?" Kurenai shook her head. "So vulgar…" 
> 
> Gai's eyes were tearing. Who'd thought that his prized pupil, Rock Lee, his wonderful, excellent, blessed student could spit such vile curses and phrases from his mouth?! He clenched his fist sorrowfully. He would have to discipline him well, Neji too. There was something seriously wrong with the Hyuuga boy… 
> 
> _"See the ice and the glist - Niggas starin on the glist - Honeys lookin on they wish - Come on boo, gimme kiss" _
> 
> __
> 
> With that he pointed at Sakura and winked. She shivered, then tossed her head and turned her back on him. Rock Lee felt a large bit of his pride crumble away, and not to mention he could feel the glare of two pairs of eyes burning holes in his back. 'Note to self, after performance, steer clear of Team 7…' 
> 
> Neji moved back to center stage. 
> 
> _"If you wanna go and take a ride wit me - We three wheelin in the fo with the gold D's - Oh why do I live this way?" _
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Hey, it must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"If you wanna go and get high wit me - Smoke a 'L' in the back of tha ben-z - Oh why must I feel this way?"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Hey, must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"If you wanna go and take a ride wit me - We three wheelin in the fo with the gold D's - Oh why do I live this way?" _
> 
> _"(Hey, it must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"If you wanna go and get high wit me - Smoke a 'L' in the back of tha ben-z - Oh why must I feel this way?"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Hey, must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> Tenten knew the song was coming for a close. She grinned to herself. It had been really fun, and now she would have excellent blackmail material, if Neji ever got on her nerves… 
> 
> _"Hey, must be the money - Hey, must be the money - Hey, must be the money - Hey, must be the money"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"If you wanna go and take a ride wit me - We three wheelin in the fo with the gold D's - Oh why do I live this way?" _
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Hey, it must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"If you wanna go and get high wit me - Smoke a 'L' in the back of tha ben-z - Oh why must I feel this way?"_
> 
> __
> 
> _"(Hey, must be the money!)"_
> 
> __
> 
> The chorus faded out and somewhat shocked but wild applause followed. Neji and Lee went and took their seats, but Tenten and the other girls stayed behind on the dance floor, waiting for the next song and chatting about this and that. 
> 
> Rock Lee shivered as he walked past Team 7's table, feeling glares arrow him. Okay, maybe that move with Sakura wasn't such a good idea… 
> 
> "These Leaf genin sure are unpredictable," Kankuro murmured, but he had a smile on his lips. "Eh, Temari?" 
> 
> There was no answer. He turned around. 
> 
> Temari was nowhere in sight. 
> 
> Yay!! 2nd chapter done!! It's not as good as the first chapter, but the song was difficult to write to XD Should've chosen an easier one, but I thought Neji singing Nelly would be fun Anyways, I love all of your reviews! I'll try to include all the pairings you request for, but I might mix things up based on what I've seen floating around. Yeah, that dancing part up there was for anyone that's a fan of Neji/Sakura XD 
> 
> Dark Nemesis 7: Interesting idea for Rock Lee, and I'm trying to see who I would put to sing the Thong Song, any ideas? 
> 
> Kawaii Yoshi: I've already got a number for the teachers lined up, but it's going to be later (evil cackle) And yeah, Hinata's going to sing something, quite a few things XD Interesting Idea with Rock Lee and Gai, I'm going to have to work that in lol 
> 
> BrokenAngel,ForgivenDevil: I had a few plans for Hinata. I was going to do more emotional songs for her, then have her sing Pink XD But… (grins at the idea of Hinata singing 'Naughty Girl') And as for Gaara, I was playing around with ideas for him, but I'll keep that in mind 
> 
> Thank you everyone else I'm glad you like it Ja Ne! ****


	3. Temari: Milkshake

**Karaoke, Yes, Karaoke**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Kankuro blinked at the spot where his sister had been before it dawned on him. "Oh. No."

He turned quickly to the stage. Empty.

For now…

"You don't think she'd…I mean, she wouldn't possibly…would she?"

He turned to his little brother for reassurance, panic of the moment robbing him of the common sense that his little brother did not give support, never had and most likely never will.

Gaara stirred crossly, his sadistic train of thought disturbed. "I don't care, Temari can do whatever she wants. If anyone dares bring it up later on, I will kill them."

Kankuro shuddered. Okay, baby brother slightly more murderous than usual…but that was Gaara's solution to everything. If you don't like something, kill it. Hell, kill it anyways.

Kankuro sighed and fidgeted nervously. Hopefully, Temari would not make a fool of herself…

Rock Lee brightened when he saw his beloved sensei heading toward the table. Instantly, he bounced up in his seat, eyes brimming in overjoyed expectation of praise at their performance.

"How was it Gai-sensei?! We tried to outshine Kakashi, we really did-"

His words were cut short as beloved Gai-sensei raised his fist with superhuman speed and punched him over three tables and into the bar area. Anko grimaced at the bleeding, teary, bruised face that decorated her bar table before unceremoniously pushing it to the floor.

"No fightin unless you want me to throw you out!!"

Neji watched his sensei shuddering with unshed tears, and wondered why destiny hated him so.

"Why Gai-sensei?!" cried Lee, nursing his bruised face.

"Because my boy!!" roared his sensei. "Even though you were trying to outdo Kakashi, you must never lower yourself to speak such perverted and filthy words!! It is a shame upon a shinobi's honor!!"

Gai looked upon his student, tears that he could not hold streaming down his cheeks. Lee met his gaze, mirroring his face.

"I will never do it again Gai sensei!!"

"That's my boy Lee!"

And they ran to each other in a tearful hug. Neji grimaced. He was going to need a lot more alcohol to rid his mind of _that_ image…

Kankuro was hoping, praying, _pleading_ that Temari was not going to get on that stage. To every single deity he remembered. He even prayed to Shukaku for crying out loud!!

But no amount of praying could _ever _stop Temari from doing anything. It would've been more useful to get Gaara to get up and drag his sister down from the stage, but Gaara was in no mood for dragging anything from anywhere and besides, what would he care?

So thus Kankuro groaned when the lights dimmed to a sultry level and some very familiar music started playing. And then he buried his face in the table when he remembered what it was called.

A spotlight shone down on Temari, dressed in very tight jeans, a black tanktop, and _lots_ of shiny necklaces and bracelets and big gold hoop earrings. She grinned slightly and started to sing.

"_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard - And they're like - It's better than yours - Damn right it's better than yours - I can teach you - But I have to charge_"

With that she jumped down from the stage and, catlike, made her way over to the bar. The eyes off half the guys and more in the bar followed her because Temari, being fifteen, seemed a lot sexier than the girls they had been used to seeing all their lives. Well, the guys of Team 8 had Kurenai-sensei, but Kurenai-sensei never acted like this.

She slid smoothly into a bar seat and Anko, who seemed to be in on this whole deal, grinned wickedly and slid her a frothy milkshake, cherry on top. Temari lifted the straw lightly with her fingers and with a coy smile pretended to be occupied with it.

"_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard - And they're like - It's better than yours - Damn right it's better than yours - I can teach you - But I have to charge_"

She lifted the cherry and licked the cream off slowly, before popping it in her mouth and pulling out the stem with a pucker of her lips. Then she turned and leaned on the bar suggestively, that slight, scornful, tempting smile on her face.

"_I know you want it"_

She gave a flirtatious wink over in Sasuke's direction. Said boy gulped nervously because behind his cool exterior he was very muchly still a teenager and he very muchly still had hormones that were firing off inside him.

_"The thing that makes me - What the guys go crazy for"_

She hopped up onto the bar, lifting the glass and sipping from the straw delicately and gazing over the male portion of the audience with sensual green eyes. She licked her lips again and Hinata kicked Kiba under the table because she was pretty sure she heard him moan and even though she was a kind understanding soul, she didn't like Kiba being an animal in front of her.

_"They lose their minds - The way I wind - I think it's time"_

She slid off the bar and walked over to Team 7's table. She leaned down close to Sasuke, who was red despite all his attempts to control himself and sang the next bit near his ear.

_"La la-la la la - Warm it up"_

She stood up and stalked away to the dance floor, stopping with a sensuous dip of her body.

_"Lala-lalala - The boys are waiting"_

She crooked a finger at the audience, as if inviting anyone to come up, then swung side to side, hypnotically.

"_La la-la la la - Warm it up"_

Then she turned with a toss of her head, looking back with a daring nod. She winked again.

_"Lala-lalala - The boys are waiting"_

Then she faced the girls who were still at the verge of the dance floor, too shocked or angered to do anything, she gave them an aloof look and sang the next part.

"_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard - And they're like - It's better than yours - Damn right it's better than yours - I can teach you - But I have to charge_ - _My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard - And they're like - It's better than yours - Damn right it's better than yours - I can teach you - But I have to charge_"

Tenten looked murderous, Ino looked shocked, and Sakura seemed to be considering something. Temari smirked and faced her, and Sakura looked up, skeptical.

_"I can see you're on it - You want me to teach thee"_

Sakura shrugged, and gave her a look over. Temari smiled still, and motioned toward the audience.

_"Techniques that freaks these boys?"_

Sakura's eyes fell on Sasuke, who was still beet red while Naruto snickered, then she looked Temari in the eye and nodded. Teamri gave a devilish smiled and whirled away.

_"It can't be bought - Just know, thieves get caught"_

She turned her head back abruptly and grinned at the pink-haired girl.

_"Watch if you're smart"_

Sakura smiled a bit and she looked awfully like Temari for a moment. Then the dirty-blond Sand genin walked back to the dance floor and proceeded to dance in a way that made Sakura and Ino's earlier performance look like a proper ballroom dance.

_"La la-la la la - Warm it up - La la-la la la - The boys are waiting - La la-la la la - Warm it up - La la-la la la - The boys are waiting"_

Temari surveyed the room and looked for someone that didn't look that interested in her performance. The pickings were few. Kiba was panting like a dog in heat, both Naruto and Sauke were burning red, Lee was seemingly enraptured and watching with wide eyes, Neji was quickly gulping down some liquid with an embarrassed look on his face, and that Chouji kid was reaching for an entrée but missing terribly, he was so busy watching her. The only few not affected were the jounin and chuunin in the back, her brothers, Shino (someone please check that he's alive), and the boy from Team 10, Shikamaru, who was just looking bored and slightly disgusted.

She grinned as she found her prey.

"_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard - And they're like - It's better than yours - Damn right it's better than yours - I can teach you - But I have to charge_"

She walked over to his table, that same sexy catwalk, and leaned on it, giving him an inviting look. He just looked up at her like he didn't know what the hell was going in and would she please leave.

So she leaned down closer until she was staring him right in the face and reached out, letting her fingers crawl up his chest. At this he looked slightly flustered but still managed to keep his cool and glare back at her. She just grinned.

"_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard - And they're like - It's better than yours - Damn right it's better than yours - I can teach you - But I have to charge_"

Her fingers closed over his collar and she jerked him to his feet. At this his cool broke for a moment and he looked utterly shocked, probably because he did not expect a girl to be so strong. Still looking into his eyes, she led him to the dance floor and proceeded to dance with him in a way that even unflappable little Shikamaru who had never shown any outward interest in a girl 'cept Ino was blushing red and looking somewhere in between of outrage and pleasure.

Over her shoulder she glanced at the three girls and noticed to her satisfaction that Ino looked extremely infuriated and possessive. She turned to face them, still dancing with the genius genin.

_"__Oh, once you get involved - Everyone will look this way-so - You must maintain your charm - Same time maintain your halo"_

The girls took this as their sign to get on the dance floor. With Sakura in the lead, they proceeded to copy Temari's dance movements as well as if they all had Sharingan. The older girl smiled.

_"Just get the perfect blend - Plus what you have within"_

Feeling more comfortable now, the girls started to put their own little improvisations and each developed into a style of their own.

_"Then next his eyes are squint - Then he's picked up your scent"_

This was taken as the message for most of the guys to get on the dance floor, and once it sunk in they did so with a frantic scraping of chairs and the speed of a caffeinated cheetah. Let's face it, they might be ninja and most of the time they are cool, calm, level-headed people, but let's also take in the fact that they are adolescent boys with hormones and there are four very pretty girls on the floor oozing libido and inviting them to join in.

What sane boy wouldn't?

Well, Shino obviously, he's preferring to stay behind with a mortified and slightly traumatized Hinata.

And Temari is in the middle of the mass of dancers that she helped incite grinning and enjoying this because at the moment it's about two or three guys per girl and nobody really cares who anyone else is dancing with as long as they are. But it's pretty much Sakura with Sasuke and Naruto, Tenten with Neji and Lee, Ino grabbing Shikamaru and permitting Chouji in as well, and Kiba jumping from group to group. But in all this they're switching people so everyone dances with everyone else at least once.

_"La la-la la la - Warm it up - La la-la la la - The boys are waiting - La la-la la la - Warm it up - La la-la la la - The boys are waiting"_

And then the chaos breaks a bit and all the girls come to the front behind Temari as she sings the final verse.

"_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard - And they're like - It's better than yours - Damn right it's better than yours - I can teach you - But I have to charge_ - _My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard - And they're like - It's better than yours - Damn right it's better than yours - I can teach you - But I have to charge_"

And then thusic faded and everyone on the dance floor cheers and claps and looks a little more than embarrassed before they all return to their seats.

In the back the jounin are looking a little shocked, and a little pleased.

"Kids these days," Kurenai sighs with a smile.

Asuma shakes his head but he's grinning too, and Gai is moderately happy because he has just seen youthful paaion at its best. And Kakashi…

Kakashi has an idea. It's no use letting the genin have _all_ the fun. "Yo guys!"

All the jounin turn. "I have an idea…"

So Gai, Asuma, and Kurenai lean a little closer as Kakashi explains his plan. Then they all begin to grin and Kurenai goes off to get Anko and the three guys head for the stage.

O.o Can't believe I just wrote that…Sorry for the wait people . Neways, this chapter was pretty difficult to write because I didn't know what to give Temari, so I just ended up writing songs on slips of paper and picking one out. Yes, I actually did that -.-() Temari is so OOC and it wasn't funny as the other ones and that's disappointing…But I'll try to make it up next chapter with the jounin. A cookie to anyone who guesses what they sing... : )

mOnster1: Um Kakashi sings something in this, but I'll try to give him a solo, maybe Eminem. It depends on how far I want to carry this…

Grave: Shikamaru's going to sing something, soon.

Shadow Clara: I never thought of that, thanks for the idea!! I'm trying to choose a group song for the girls, I'll keep Destiny's Child in mind :)

Fuji Fox: o.o;; That is a lot of pairings…and a lot of yaoi… Neways, I don't have anything against yaoi, other than the fact I suck at writing it XD But I'll try to include some of the pairings, if I can find ways to work them in.

ITSAME: Shino dancing? Interesting thought…

Kawaii Rabbit: Someone's going to sing 'Hey Mama', I'm not sure who yet, but that's an interesting combination.

Thanks everyone for the support. I'm kind of surprised I didn't get flamed already o.o Oh well, I guess that's a good thing : )

Ja Ne!


	4. Lady Marmalade Surprise

Karaoke, Yes, Karaoke

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Yeah, I know, I live…

cries. I'm so sorry for keeping you guys waiting, but its nice to know I still get the nice review ever so often Well, the thing with the jounin chapter, I'm trying to make it funny and everything you guys want it to be, but it's not working --() So updates from this point on will be in no chronological order, just songs that I feel like writing. Sorry to all those who were waiting, but the jounins shall sing something!

Well, this chapter's kind of funny I got some requests for Lady Marmalade, and I decided to be original, albeit scary…

Enjoy!

----

Sakura had the feeling that something odd was going to happen. She sipped her drink carefully, watching the stage for the next performance. Little did she know, things were bound to get a lot more interesting.

"We're all in mutual agreement about this, right?"

"Whatever."

"Sure."

"……"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"You know, if I wasn't stoned off my ass I'd beat you to death for even suggesting we do this."

"Heh-heh, it'll be fun."

"What exactly is your definition of fun?"

"Your humiliation of course! And we forgot her birthday that one time…."

"Okay, okay, I get it."

"….."

"How did you get into this anyways?"

"……my demon is sadistic."

-----

Hinata gave a small scream as the club plunged into darkness. Being shinobi, everyone instinctively reached for their weapons and formed hand-seals. However, a few moments later they relaxed, sensing no danger.

There were a few seconds of quiet, then a sultry voice rang out through the darkness.

"_Where's all my soul sistas? Lemme hear y'all flow sistas."_

Sakura gasped, as did most of the audience, because they knew that voice. Then the shock grew as three more voices joined in, equally as smooth and seductive as the first, and equally as masculine.

Yep, a lot more interesting.

"_Hey sisters go sisters soul sisters flow sister, hey sisters go sisters soul sisters flow sister."_

A light snapped on, illuminating a figure on stage.

Hinata nearly went into cardiac arrest.

Lee squirted his drink out of his nose.

TenTen's eyebrows disappeared into her head protector.

Gai's jaw hit the floor, quite literally.

For it was Neji standing on the stage, a sexy smirk on his normally stoic features, leaning on one leg almost coquettishly. Neji, clothed in white leather, sheer silk and fishnet, looking like some fangirl's fantasy angel with a large white feather woven into his dark hair and rhinestone beads draped elegantly over his face.

He winked catlike at the audience and raised the microphone, his smooth tenor painting a mental picture of something akin to melted chocolate. Some of the random females in the crowd passed out from the sheer sexiness factor.

"_He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge, struttin her stuff on the street."_

"Neji…" Tenten drawled, somewhere between shock and elation. She quickly snapped back however, blushing furiously and wiping the small trail of drool that had leaked out of her open mouth, her shock quickly reverting to anger.

"What does he think he's doing!"

Lee didn't answer, to busy oogling his rival. Neji looked…hot? TenTen promptly smacked him across the face, noticing that same thin line of drool.

"Back off, he's MINE!"

Meanwhile, Team 8 desperately tried to revive Hinata, who had fainted into Shino's arms a seconds after her cousin's appearance on stage. Whether it was from mortification or something else was yet to be discovered.

In the back, Kurenai patted Gai's shoulder as Kakashi whipped out a pencil and pad and started making notes.

Neji grinned again at the crowd's reaction then hopped off stage, sashaying through the tables and thus causing more blissful loss of consciousness. He glanced out of the corner of his eye, seeing Team 10's table. He winked at Shikamaru, who was looking at him in interest, which was a lot coming from a boy who wasn't interested in a lot of things.

"_She said, 'Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?' (Oh, oh)."_

"Dude," Chouji said, after recovering from his initial choking. "Did Neji just hit on you?"

"He's just drunk," the genius replied, with an almost smile.

Ino blinked as the four voices chorused together again.

"_Giuchie__ giuchie ya ya da da (Hey, hey, hey), Giuchie giuchie ya ya here (here), Mocca choca lata ya ya (oh yeah)._"

Neji leaned into Anko's bar, swirling a martini in one hand, the mic in the other. "_Creole Lady Marmalade, ohhhh."_

As Neji's voice faded out, the first one started again. "_What what, What what."_

Sakura smiled, twirling her hair around her fingers. Who would've thought, this was one hell of a late birthday present…

The chorus sang again. "_Voulez__ vous couchez avec moi ce soir?__ Voulez vous couchez avec moi?"_

Sakura blushed, as did some of the few genius shinobi who had bothered to learn another language. Kankuro poked Temari, who was currently grinning foxily at the singing, and the pretty Hyuuga.

"Temari, was that French?"

"Uh-huh."

"What did they say?"

"Nothing for your virgin ears," she teased, turning back to the performance. Kankuro muttered under his breath.

"Virgin ears my ass."

There was another flash of light. Naruto leaned on the stage wall, in boots and sinfully tight khaki pants, a tan leather trenchcoat draped on in a disheveled manner, giving him a wild, tousled allure. A scant fishnet shirt covered his chest, his abdomen bare and showing the sun sign scrawled onto his stomach. He tipped up his sunglasses with a foxy grin and devilish shine in his baby-blue eyes.

"_He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up. Boy drank all that magnolia wine._"

Hinata had been revived, only to pass out again at a glimpse at Naruto. Kiba growled angrily and vowed Naruto's demise by the end of the day, while Shino sighed and considered dumping ice water on the Hyuuga heiress.

Ino blushed and cursed the gods for not giving her such sexy teammates. Sakura laughed behind her hand, wondering why she hadn't noticed how cute Naruto was before. Said kitsune-boy leaped off the stage and onto her table, perching there catlike. He grinned up at her.

"_On her black satin sheet is where he started to freak yeah."_

He slipped the sunglasses onto her face and slid liquidly off the table. She blushed as the mystery voice picked up again.

"_Yea yeah yeah yea._"

Naruto sidled over to Neji as the chorus began. The Hyuuga beckoned him closer and they sang into the same microphone, joined by the two other voices.

"_Giuchie__ giuchie ya ya da da (da da da), Giuchie giuchie ya ya here, oh yeah (here ohooo yea yeah), Mocca choca lata ya ya_."

With another grin, Naruto yanked the mic away, causing Neji to fall into his chest. His smile grew wider as he sang.

"_Creole Lady Marmalade."_

"Hm, I guess Naruto swings both ways," Kakashi muttered, scribbling away furiously.

"KAKASHI! DO NOT LET YOUR STUDENT CORRUPT THE VIBRANT YOUTHFUL INNOCENCE OF MY NEJI!"

"_Voulez__ vous couchez avec moi ce soir?__ (ce soir, what what what) Voulez vous couchez avec moi? _"

Lights snapped on to reveal the mystery voice, and all the kunoichi (plus a few shinobi) in the club found that they could die happy.

Sasuke stood center stage, black leather, zippers and an indecent amount of skin. A top hat was perched at a rakish angle on his head, a scrap of a fishnet veil covering his right eye. He tapped a small whip against his boots as he sang, that aloof smirk dominating his androgynous features.

"_Yeeiah__, yeeiah, ugh, He come through with the money in the garter belts, Let 'em know we got that cake, straight out the gate._"

Sakura noticed he had a collar around his neck, upon which hung a long chain. She wondered vaguely what its purpose was, as naughty thoughts ran through her head.

"_We independent women, some mistake us for whores, We say, 'Why spend mine, when I can spend yours?', Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry, I'm gonna keep playin' these cats out like Atari._"

Naruto walked onto the dance floor, and the reason for the chain became clear as he wound his fingers around it and gave a gentle tug. Sasuke climbed down, resting a hand on Naruto's shoulder and winking at Sakura, who was beet red and enjoying it.

"_Wearing high heel shoes, gettin' love from the dudes, Four bad-ass chicks from the Moulin Rouge._"

Neji joined them, carrying a serving tray set with delicate glasses.

"_Hey sisters, soul sisters, better get that dough sisters._"

Sasuke took one, swirling the crimson liquid with small gems glittering within. He sipped it seductively.

"_We drink wine with diamonds in the glass, by the case, the meaning of expensive taste, We wanna giuchie giuchie ya ya, mocca choca lata, Creole Lady Marmalade, One more time, c'mon_."

The music slowed and the four voices chorused together. "_Marmalade, Lady, Marmalade, Marmalade._"

Then the last light snapped on and everyone, I mean everyone, choked on something.

For there on stage was Gaara, wrapped in ornate red scarves and fishnet, dripping with jewelry. Gaara, looking like some Egyptian harem dancer with those exotic 'Kohl lined' eyes.

"Temari?"

"….what?"

"I think I just swallowed the umbrella in my drink."

Gaara didn't even bother to look at the crowd, he just closed his eyes and raised the mic to his lips.

"_Hey, Hey, Heeeeeyyyy!_"

If the mere appearance of Gaara on stage didn't shock people, his voice capacity did. Who could've known that this silent shinobi had a voice that could shatter windows with its mere force?

'I though only Ino could do that,' Sakura thought vaguely.

The sand shinobi opened his eyes, giving the crowd a sexy, half-lidded stare. Baki promptly had a heart attack. Kakashi sighed, prying himself away from his precious notes and collecting his lightning like chakra in his hands.

"Clear!"

"_Touch of her skin feelin' silky smooth hey, Color of café au lait, all right_."

Sasuke showed his usefulness with the whip, first with warning away Naruto's wandering hands and second cracking it so that it wrapped around Gaara's waist. To everyone's surprise, no sand popped up. Apparently, Shukaku was enjoying this way too much to ruin it. With a small tug he pulled Gaara off the stage and into Neji. The Hyuuga wrapped his arms around the boy's waist and Gaara leaned his back into his chest as he sang the next lines, grinding ever so slightly.

"_Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried, More (more), more (more), more!_"

"Go Gaara!" Temari shouted, a little tipsy and feeling a swell of sisterly pride. Kankuro wished he had a camera.

Naruto pulled Gaara from Neji and threw him Sasuke's chain as an apology. The two demons grinned as they sang the next part.

"_Now he's back home doin' nine to five (Nine to five)._"

Neji grinned and jerked the Uchiha over, causing the younger boy to stumble unceremoniously. He grinned into his glare.

"_Livin__' the gray flannel life._"

"THAT'S MY BOY NEJI! YOU OWN KAKASHI'S BRAT!"

Gai sent an imperious look in Kakashi's direction, but the grey-haired jounin was too busy reviving Baki to notice. After all, it would be bad form if a sand jounin died on leaf territory. Kurenai continued his notes diligently, thinking of ways she and Asuma could use this information.

Gai sighed, once again ignored.

Gaara reclaimed the microphone and broke away, ignoring Naruto's protests.

"_But when he turns off to sleep, memories creep, More (more), more (more), more!_"

Naruto promptly jumped him again for the mic, as Sasuke and Neji shared the other one. "_Gitchie__ gitchie ya ya da da, Gitchie gitchie ya ya here, Mocca choca lata ya ya._"

Gaara gave another one of those sexy looks at the audience.

"_Creole Lady Marmalade!_"

"Sweet mother of Shukaku," Kankuro said, awed. "Temari, I thought you were the only one who could scream that long without passing out."

This earned him a sound whack with the fan.

"_Voulez__ vous couchez avec moi ce soir?__ Voulez vous couchez avec moi?"_

'Hell yeah!' cried inner Sakura.

Outer Sakura blushed at her hormones, and wondered vaguely if she had any singles.

"Dammit, why couldn't I get sexy teammates!" Ino raged. Shikamaru gave her a bored look.

"You got the only sane ones, be thankful."

"_All my sisters, yeah_."

Sasuke grumbled in the back of his mind. He had not agreed to be Neji's bitch. But an idea crossed his mind, and smirking he cracked his whip around the older boy's neck and pulled him back, switching their previous roles.

"_Voulez__ vous couchez avec moi ce soir?__ Voulez vous couchez avec moi?"_

"Who owns who now Gai?" Kakashi replied mildly, reclaiming his notes.

'Argh, you out do me again my rival,' Gai held up a fist, fire in his eyes. 'But not for long! After this, I shall teach Neji to become the ultimate stud!'

As if by premonition, Neji shuddered slightly.

The club lights dimmed for a moment, and when they flashed back on, Anko stood in the center of the dancefloor. She grinned maliciously, having collared every boy on stage in the dark, and now had the chains wrapped around her fingers.

The Madame had arrived. She sang into her headset, her voice low and silky.

"_Gaara_"

"_Moulin...Ooooh!_"

"_Naruto_"

"_Ladyyyyyy__ Marmalade_"

"_Sasuke_"

"_Hey, hey, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!_"

"_Neji_"

"_Oh, oh, ohhhhhhhh Marmalade._"

Anko tugged on Naruto's chain, bringing the fox boy closer. There was a red glow in his eyes that she hadn't seen before.

"_Rock-wilder baby_."

"_Baby_."

She tossed his microphone to Gaara and Neji.

"_Moulin Rouge_."

"_Ooh, ohhhh!_"

"_Da__ doot da doot._"

"_Misdemeanor here._"

All the voices chorused together for the final line.

"_Creole Lady Marmalade, Yes-Ahhh!_"

The stage flared up in a blaze of white light, and by the time it cleared, the performers were gone.

The crowd erupted into cheers.

-----

"Oi, I think she's finally coming around."

Hinata opened her eyes blearily. What an odd nightmare…Neji singing and dressed up like some showgirl…Naruto-kun….

She blushed as she saw Shino and Kiba staring down at her anxiously. She shook her head and sat up. "G-gomen, I'm fine…"

"Phew, finally," Kiba sighed, relieved. "I thought you were going to die of shock or something. Don't worry, it's over now."

Hinata's eyes opened wide. "You mean, you mean it was real?"

"Yeah, but-no not again!"

Yes once again. Shino wondered if anyone had videotaped the performance. He had been to busy tending to his teammate that he hadn't been able to watch it.

------

By the state of the crowd, it had been very interesting.

"Gaara! You were great!"

Temari was bubbling with happiness and wine coolers. Gaara climbed into his seat quietly and signaled for drinks, many, many drinks.

After downing his first two bottles, he turned to his siblings.

"Mention this again, and I will kill you."

Temari nodded cheerfully and Kankuro promptly swallowed another umbrella in fear.

------

Sakura grinned as her teammates slid into their seats. "Thank you guys, that was the best gift ever."

Sasuke 'ch'-ed, blushing ever so slightly, and Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Anything for you, Sakura-chan. Erm, by the way, was Hinata watching…?"

Sakura gave him a surprised look. He held out his hands in front of him. "Neji wanted to know, that's all!"

His female teammate smiled knowingly and shook her head. "She fainted when Neji came on and then again when you started. She missed basically the whole thing."

"Oh," came the slightly downtrodden reply. Sakura grinned. She slid two folds of bills in her teammates' direction.

"Any chance I can get a private performance?"

------

Neji returned to a fuming TenTen and a bruised, blushing Lee.

"Neji-san, I would have never imagined, I never thought, erm," Lee twiddled his thumbs, before falling to his knees before his teammate.

"Teach me the ways of sexiness!"

Neji sipped his drink sagely. "Sexiness must be a developed, it cannot be taught, my young padawan. Work for it, and it shall be achieved."

"Thank you my beautiful youthful teammate!"

He moved give Neji atearful hug, but was stopped with a rather large butcher knife that TenTen had produced from nowhere. There was murder in the Kunoichi's eyes.

"Back. Off."

------

Kakashi stored his notes away in his vest. Now that was a performance worth watching without the Icha Icha distraction.

Kurenai sidled over to Asuma and whispered something into his ear, then led him, grinning like his birthday had come early, into the broom closet.

Baki was taking a stiff drink, convinced that the world was going to end.

Gai fumed and plotted the ways he would get Kakashi, whose students seemed to be spoiling the spotlight of his idea.

Anko grinned and took her place behind the bar, wondering what the world was coming to and realizing that whatever it was, it wasn't that bad.

---

Aaaaand, it's done.

Yep, I'm definitely going to get flamed for this chapter. So much OOC-ness () And pairings galore! I tried to appease some of the yaoi fans I know are reading this, but really you can take the interactions however you want :) If you don't like yaoi, just imagine they all got stone drunk before it, or that they're doing it to impress their respective girls. However you want, remember, it's not supposed to make sense.

So review, flame, whatever. I'll love whoever can draw me fanart of this chapter, I loves it to death.

Till my next inspiration, Ja Ne!


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